My recent dream of becoming an elementary music teacher has turned out to be just one of those short-lived phases I frequently go through. After spending eleven hours doing observation in my field experience placement in a city-district elementary school, I have actually begun to question how anyone could genuinely want to teach elementary general music. I’m clinging to the belief that the despair that surrounds education in V.D. Elementary is mostly the result of the poor quality of the city district itself, because most times attitudes of the teachers in the school and the way they interact with their behaviorally-challenged students is absolutely depressing.

I’ve seen a music class spend ten minutes transitioning from sitting in chairs to sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of the teacher, because inevitably some student forgets to use his “walking feet” and sprints to his seat on the floor, which leads to the teacher yelling at all the students and forcing them to go back to their chairs and “try this again.” Really – for ten minutes. Once the students arrive on the floor, it’s a battle to get them to pay attention: Da’shawn is punching Laquisha, Martell is rolling around on the floor, Michael is laying down pretending to snore, and Devan is jumping in circles like a frog. The teacher is constantly fighting for control, and the class becomes about getting all students to sit in the proper place at the proper time in the proper position. After forty minute of observing this chaos, I am exhausted — so I cannot imagine how these teachers do this for eight hours every single day.

I’ve seen a class waste six minutes of music class time because their line-up outside the classroom is poor. Y’ounique is leaning against the wall, Andre is sitting on the floor, and the back of the line is kind of crooked. Teachers yell, threaten, plead and beg in order to get the students standing in a straight and quiet line. I’ve seen a teacher bend down to eye level with a first grader and yell in his face “Stop! Doing! That!” because he was stepping on the toes of the student in front of him. I’ve heard a first-grade teacher growl, “Well judging by this line, I guess you guys want the same amount of homework that you were given last night…” Are you kidding? I just got done learning in EDU 204 that classwork should never, ever be used as a punishment.

I’ve seen a fourth-grade chorus lose out on their entire 40-minute rehearsal because the fact that a handful of students was late upset the teacher so much that she “didn’t feel like teaching — sorry, guys.” Are you kidding? You’re punishing these students by taking away their opportunity to sing? An opportunity that they get less than once a week?

I feel guilty every time I’m privy to the teachers’ lunch room discussions: “Oh god, you have Williams’ class this afternoon? I’m so sorry you have to end your week that way – they’re the worst.” I feel guilty because while I sit there at the table feigning understanding and sympathy, I am silently judging these adults: Are you kidding? Why are you even here, then? You have no place educating children.

Is it like this at every school? Do all teachers curse their “youthful stupidity” for choosing such an unfulfilling career? This is only my first placement at a city-district school, and I can’t help but wonder if the perpetually poor test results and graduation rate of the schools are simply the result of a vicious cycle: apathetic teachers create apathetic, mis-behaved students which encourage teacher hopelessness and further apathy. God. I need a Prozac just thinking about this.

Despite the miserableness of the situation, it’s not bad all the time. My favorite moment of observation to date was when the fourth grade general music class was talking about musical instruments used in colonial America. After telling the students that music was only performed live, and that frequently town residents would travel from their homes to gather in a central location like the town hall of play music together, the teacher asked the students what these facts music tell us about the instruments themselves. Several painful minutes of wild-guessing ensued (“All the instruments were made of wood?” “All the instruments could be played?” “All the instruments were instruments!” – for real), Ms. G relented and gave them the answer: “All the instruments had to be portable, because the people had to carry them a good ways to play them together. Can you imagine trying to carry a piano from your farm to the town hall? No. So all the instruments they had were small enough to be carried. That’s why things like the violin and small drums were so popular.”

Immediate response from one of the sharper students in the class:
“Right, ‘cos if you was fat and you had a saxophone on yo’ horse, it would prob’ly die!”